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Monday, November 27th, 2006
12:24 am - dear god i'm bored
(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

I miss somebody right now. I don't watch much TV these days. I own lots of books.  (I'm a dork, what can I say?)
× I wear glasses or contact lenses. × I love to play video games. I've tried marijuana.
I've watched porn movies. × I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.  (Nope, only been on the receiving end of that.) I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. × I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
it goes on...Collapse )

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Tuesday, July 18th, 2006
12:44 am - insanity
the other night i met someone who looks just like her. a girl named jess.

maybe not exactly. but her face... the color of her skin, the intense eyes, those lips.
i've never thought i had a type.
maybe i do now.
or am i just trying to connect some dots?
i want a chance, not something that's predestined to fail

i'd rather walk around blindfolded. yup.
and meet everyone without seeing their face
living in anonymity.

and then there's the boy, the handsome boy
i couldn't take it any slower for someone so interesting
partially because i need to be single, partially because i want to be single
and partially because fuckface scared me away from sensitive men
maybe that's why i'm more attracted to females these days?
because i'm scared a feminine man is going to be just like that sickening liar.

only one month until i have health insurance, and i can resume therapy
and begin to start undoing the damage that he did to my psyche.

it's bedtime. i've been up too long. and thinking too long.

p.s. i'm starting to get over it... and i feel wholly empowered

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Wednesday, May 24th, 2006
4:46 pm
I don't know what to do with myself.

Eric committed suicide on Saturday night.

I don't want to believe it but I have no choice.

Eric, I loved you so much... we all loved you... I wish I knew why, but there's just no way to know. I want him to come back....

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Thursday, February 16th, 2006
6:09 pm - uhhh......
In case you haven't figured it out or anything, my journal is friends only. If you stumble upon this and want to see what I'm up to or what I'm all about, leave a comment and we'll chat. I don't usually post public, so you'd need to be a friend for all the juicy shit. Yeah, guess that's it.

Off like a prom dress,

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Sunday, December 18th, 2005
12:37 pm - In honor of upstanding men.
I got this off someone else's blog, but it was apparently written by a guy, after years of experience.

1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their pajamas just like we do.

2. Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud.

3. Beware of every single male relatives and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your butt at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

5. Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.

6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.

7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.

8. If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did.

--8.5. If you DO sleep with them, don't tell your friends that you did.

9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it...

10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.

11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy.

--11.5. Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!

12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it's not a serious relationship.

13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.

14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to kick the crap out of him.

15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.

16. Never, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.

17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.

18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.

19. Don't flirt with their moms or friends...that's just freaky.

20. Don't be freaked out by the monthly visitor. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like crap, so be understanding.

21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.

22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.

23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.

24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.

25. Memorize their birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.

26. Don't marinade the cologne.

27. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful. Jewelry is always nice. Something relating to her interests is always nice.

28. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if you draw it out.

29. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.

31. Don't ever do anything wrong (well not anything). girls remember things for life and anything you did wrong will be used against you in the future.

I agree with most of this. Pretty smart advice.... wish I'd written it myself and wish more guys would follow this modicum of behavior.

current mood: blah

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Thursday, December 15th, 2005
10:10 pm - oh barf.
So this is a massive pile of suckage. Greg's leaving for the wedding tomorrow morning and won't be back till Sunday night. He'll be wasted the whole time, as will the groom and most of the attendees, and probably won't take a second to think about me or what that day means for me. Tomorrow I have to work all day and then I'm going out with Laurie, so that should probably take care of Friday's misery. Saturday, however, is a different story. I have the day off and I have plans with Robyn for the evening.... martinis and spliffs and all things wonderful. But during the day... suck suck suck suck suck. Nothing to do, and it's funny, because almost all of my friends have some really fun thing to do that day. What the fuck? Am I really going to sit at home and cry? I need painkillers. They don't call 'em that for no reason.

Other things are good, though. I went to Old Navy today and got some new bootylicious jeans, a cute purse, a warm black zip-up top, and the HOTTEST SHOES EVER. Seriously. They're that cross-stitched fabric pattern in pink and green and blue and all bright colors, flats. Really nice, except they're too big so I'm gonna have to fix that somehow. Me and my teeny feet.

I subverted Verizon Wireless, who wanted me to pay $100 for a new phone because mine is broken. BROKEN. I turned it off one day and it never turned back on. So instead of copping to that with my $200 overdue balance, I decided to go online and reactivate my old phone, the one I got my senior year of high school. Reactivation online = free. Only drawback? As of tonight, I haven't been able to figure out how to get the numbers from that phone, since it won't turn on. If you read this, be oh-so-generous and email me your numbers at sweetcilantro@hotmail.com.

Things are slowly getting better with Greg. We're both controlling our emotions and understanding each other better. I just feel like if I give up now, I may never get to see the best of him. And I would hate for that to happen. Gotta go, time for bedddd.....

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Sunday, December 4th, 2005
5:49 pm - oh memes.... i am bored
i am bored. so i do quizzes and all that shit. all behind a cut because i love you. Read more...Collapse )

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Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005
8:49 pm - i just adore this song
He said you're really an ugly girl
But I like the way you play
And I died
But I thanked him
Can you believe that sick
Holding onto his picture
Dressing up everyday
I wanna smash the faces
Of those beautiful boys
Those Christian boys
So if you can make me come
That doesn't make you Jesus

I remember, yes
In my peach party dress
No one dared, no one cared
To tell me where the pretty girls are
Those demigods
With their nine-inch nails
And little fascist panties tucked inside the heart of every nice girl

These precious things
Let them bleed, let them wash away
These precious things
Let them break their hold over me

-excerpt from tori amos-precious things

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Saturday, November 19th, 2005
3:12 pm
I smell a rat.... you know exactly who you are... but you know what, sweetie? You really, and I mean really, do NOT know who you're defending-slash-tattling to. I just hope you don't have to find out for yourself how two-faced your friend is.

On a lighter note, some interesting developments are being made. Greg talked to Kevan and then we both went over Kevan's house. I won't bore you with the details but basically, Kevan laid down on the couch and watched television while Greg and I gave him the inquisition (why are you sending Jess 143 text messages, why are you getting Dave to do your dirty work for you, why are you telling our family that a very painful incident never happened). He didn't have a word to say except "You guys are crazy" and "I don't know" or "I don't care." So that's that. The kid is so fucked-up it's actually funny. And I don't really feel bad for Mary, because she must be pretty stupid if she sees all this drama going on around her and doesn't realize that she, too, is being blabbed about by everyone, and that her child is going to have some bad Fulmer genes. That child is screwed already, even in the womb.

Greg got a new lawyer, a better one actually, albeit he has to shell out an assload of money. Small price to pay for his dignity is how I see it... the only problem we still have is getting Dave to realize that even though there's not a ring on my finger, I'm a part of Greg and they are going to have to learn to live with me. They might get me disinvited to weddings, but I don't think even Dave is dumb enough to try and stop me from coming to a family gathering. In fact, since it makes him so uncomfortable, I plan on going to as many family gatherings as possible, loaded up on Klonopin so the dirty looks float right past my eyes. Thank God for benzodiazepines. They really do get you out of some sticky situations.

This Myspace thing is getting me in trouble. First I meet a nice girl (X) with a girlfriend who deals, and after giving me the shittiest bag of weed I've gotten since high school, I call X again and get her girlfriend, who doesn't pass on the message that I need her services. Jealous much? If I looked like X's girlfriend, I'd be jealous too. And then I reconnect with a bunch of cool people from high school, one who I possibly have a crush on. Of course the one I possibly have a crush on has to be the ONE person that I should stay away from. Oh well.... c'est la vie. Life's just gonna happen.

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Saturday, November 12th, 2005
5:40 pm - the best part of believe is the LIE
I love Fall Out Boy. I don't care if you think they're sellouts because they're on MTV. Their lyrics are really, really clever and interesting. (Thus I frequently use them for a subject line.)

I have become utterly addicted to Myspace. Lately I've been getting a little antsy, kind of wanting to make out with a girl because it's been way too long since I indulged the gay side of my bisexuality. So I've met all these really cool girls, and it's amazing how some of the smartest and most intelligent women I've met in my young life are in the same kind of situation as me: a little alienated from the crowds they used to belong to in high school/college. So I've made some wonderful new friends, and a possibility or two for a little something more. *wink wink*

Going out tonight with Laurie for her birthday. I feel so fucking bad for her because it's her birthday and everyone seems to be shitting on her today for no reason at all. One of her friends invited her to sleep over then dis-invited her when her boyfriend decided to show up at 2 am. Another one brought her boyfriend to what was supposed to be a her-and-Laurie dinner. Another misplaced a gas card that belonged to Laurie's parents. For Christ's sake leave the girl alone.... I totally had that same shitty birthday about a month ago so I feel her pain. Hopefully I can make it better somehow.

Alright.... the love of my life is here and I need to give her birthday kisses so peace out.

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Friday, November 4th, 2005
9:12 pm - champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends

I just saw something on television that truly sickened me. I actually almost vomited while watching it. Dateline NBC did a special on child predators who go into online chat rooms to solicit minors for sex. This amazing, wonderful group called Perverted Justice, who does what I consider to be some of the most useful and charitable work in the world, set up 19 men over 3 days to come to a house in Virginia, all of them having talked to whom they believed was a 12-14 year-old boy or girl who was willing to have sex with them. In reality, they came into a house and were unknowingly filmed while a Dateline anchor grilled them about what they were doing there. I was sickened by what I (and millions of other viewers) saw: a bus driver, an army sergeant, a doctor, a special-education teacher, a rabbi, white men, black men, Indian men, married men, gay men; all predators, all claiming they'd "never done this before."

I cried throughout the whole episode. These men looked normal. Like your neighbor or your kid's soccer coach, or your uncle or your accountant. And one asshole, after being caught, went online the next morning and solicited again. Cameras followed him again to the McDonald's where he was going to meet his victim... and he said he was just getting a hamburger. (Twenty miles away?)

What makes me so ill is that people like that are out there. They'll never stop. They're not so rare as the foolishly bold who would snatch a child from their home or the street, but just as bad, if not worse; grooming a child for sex in the comfort of their own home, where they are supposed to feel safe and at ease. These men would have walked in the house and committed rape, sodomy, bestiality... and they do, every day, as opposed to the "lucky" few who were merely publicly embarrassed and exposed for who they truly are. I don't know. Something about the story touched me and made me want to help catch people like this, people who steal the innocence of beautiful children whose only crimes are curiosity and naivete.

I had to get this off of my chest somewhere because if I didn't, I don't know if I would have slept tonight or not. I don't know if I will. But I do know that I am joining this organization, or one like it, and I will be one of the good guys, one of the protectors. Someone needs to keep children safe from disgusting, heartless monsters like these men, and I can only hope to be part of a successful effort at catching one of them.

I'm making this public because I want everyone to read it and get involved if it so moves them. If you're a friend of mine who just got my LJ name, or someone who's curious, this is friends-only but leave a comment and I'll add you if I like you. :)

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Thursday, February 17th, 2005
9:14 am

i will miss you all.

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Thursday, July 29th, 2004
12:32 pm - Ahhhh.
Well, things are going good.

I've been working a lot, a little stressed, but I'm looking forward to this weekend. Saturday I'm going to Vermont for a week with my family. Greg's staying Saturday through Tuesday, so finally I get to spend some quality time with him... no Greg getting out at 11:30 from work, no me having to go to work at 9 in the morning the day after he gets out at 11:30, no nagging parents (either of ours), we've got plenty of money to spend over the weekend, weather forecast looks awesome, Vermont's got great bud, no sexy George coming into GNC to tempt me... oh wait, what did I just say?

Yeah, that's right. For the first time in almost seven months, I'm extremely attracted to someone besides my amazing boyfriend. My eyes haven't wandered since... well, with Greg they never have. I'm not saying I'm not satisfied; I am. But when a charming, 6'3, tan, dark, muscular, dimpled Adonis walks through the door and shows a marked interest in you, it's kind of hard to ignore it. I mean, it's not like I've never been hit on by a hot guy. But he's really, really hot. And I'm really, really attracted to him. It's not like I'd ever cheat on Greg. I'm confident enough in my own fidelity to be able to say to myself, "Okay, he might look like an underwear model and he might make me blush like a schoolgirl just by winking at me, but I love Greg and that's enough to make me say no."

please dear god make george go back where he came from !!!

lost five more pounds. yay me.

eryn--- not like you need it, because you sex me up --- but do you want that trimspa and xenadrine?? it's waiting for you!! (p.s. i tried ephedra, it's illegal for a reason)

i have to go check on my laundry. and straighten my hair.


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Wednesday, July 14th, 2004
2:37 pm - wooooooo best day everrrrr
Oh my god!!!! So Greg and I went golfing this morning at Richardson's in Middleton, and we really wanted to go to the batting cages but they were closed cause of the rain, so we drove some balls (which I've never done before). Greg was showing me how to swing, and I likened the follow-through to swinging a bat... and the guy next to us was like, "Noooo, it's nothing like baseball." Then he turns around.... and it's Jim Rice! Holy f-ing shit!!! He started giving me golf lessons and showing me how to swing to avoid my boobs getting in the way. We stayed there for an hour, just chillin with Jim Rice!!! As a mad crazy Red Sox fan, that was probably one of the coolest things that's ever happened to me...

And now it's quizzie time. Because it's my day off and I'm bored.

01 | Guns. I am deathly afraid of even seeing one in front of me.
02 | Being alone forever
03 | There's not much that scares me, so.... umm.. spiders?

01 | Greg
02 | Will Ferrell
03 | Eryn

01 | Cuddling n kissing n stuff :)
02 | Baseball
03 | Muuuusic

01 | Republicans
02 | Why bad things happen to good people
03 | Murder

01 | A battery
02 | Speakers/ my sub
03 | a Class of 2003 mug

01 | Talking to Eryn and Laurie and Aya
02 | Thinking about how awesome of a show Nip/Tuck is
03 | Filling out this survey, duh

01 | Get married and have babies
02 | Go skydiving
03 | Write a book

01 | Drive a golf ball over 200 yards
02 | Do a great impression of any character from Austin Powers
03 | An awesome striptease

01 | Curvy
02 | Pretty smile/eyes
03 | Umm... flabby tummy?

01 | Switch-hit (well, in literal terms...)
02 | Grow a penis
03 | Cartwheels

01 | Your heart
02 | The All-American Rejects
03 | Tom Petty

01 | Republicans
02 | Cops
03 | Liza Minnelli

01 | Fucking shit
02 | I love you
03 | Let's Go Mulching!!

01 | Mahi-mahi
02 | Parmesan pea risotto
03 | Mint chocolate chip ice cream

01 | Kabbalah
02 | How to speak Spanish
03 | How to cook like my boyfriend (in other words, amazingly)

01 | Green tea w/honey
02 | Diet Coke w/lime
03 | Crystal Light raspberry

01 | Sesame Street
02 | Three's Company
03 | The Three Stooges

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Monday, November 10th, 2003
6:17 pm - just an old friend coming over now to visit you and that's what i've become
Yeahhhh. I don't know if I really feel like writing or not, but I want to try and write in this despicable thing as much as possible because I've lost touch with a lot of friends and I know this is the only way they keep up with my life, and vice versa.

Em and I are talking again, thank God. She shouldn't have accepted me in her life as a friend again, I wasn't expecting her to anyways, but she did, and I'm glad. I would miss her too much if she wasn't around. It felt like breaking up with a boyfriend when I fought with her the other night. I don't think I've ever had a fight like that with a friend before... probably because I've never had a friend like her before.

Haven't talked to Kevan in over 24 hours. This is v. good news. Except for the fact that I know he didn't go to his cousin's concert last night, because while I was waiting outside for Em to pick me up he drove by my house (obviously not expecting me to SEE HIM spying on me), waved because he was startled to see me, and peeled off into the night. I was surprised Jen wasn't in the car, but what can you do. Obviously he has some kind of strong feelings for me, or he wouldn't be driving by my house, but he's not expressing them clearly enough or kindly enough for me to accept them. Part of me is really struggling with not hearing from him, but a larger and more forceful part of me knows that putting some distance between us will prove beneficial.

Talked to Tilla today, that was awesome. I haven't heard from her in a long time... apparently I was on her friends list and never realized that it was her. Hopefully we'll get to hang out soon, 'cause I thought she was hella cool when I met her and we never really got a chance to know each other that well. And besides, we're both going through crazy drama, so I'm sure we can be a calming influence on each other... or, we could just drive each other nuts by regaling each other with tales of relationships gone sour. Either way, it's great to hear from her.

Trying not to think about Kevan, trying not to think about Kevan.... someone call me and distract me. I'll be out tonight, hopefully getting some nice ganja, but I'm sure he'll be on my mind at some point during the evening. Love you all.

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Wednesday, June 25th, 2003
12:51 am - let me kiss you m y s t e r i o u s l y
You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Wednesday, June 18th, 2003
12:51 am - See if we're destined to be.... something.
seriouslysweet 91%
charlieryan 89%
empresse 84%
gwenilynd 69%
evilshopingkart 68%
How compatible with me are YOU?

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Thursday, March 27th, 2003
7:32 pm - Locked my keys in my car... for the sixth time
So apparently I've got strep throat now... white spotted swollen tonsils galore. I went to the doctors' yesterday and saw the infamous Dr. Alejo, who appears to be Asian but has a Mexican last name and speaks hardly any English regardless. (One time when I went in because I had stomach problems, she sent me packing with acne medication...) She wrote me a note to miss work yesterday, which I was pissed about because I was looking forward to the extra hours and money. Then when I tried to go in today, they sent me home again, claiming it hadn't been 24 hours since I'd taken my antibiotics, which they were right about, I guess. Dammit, I just wanted to work. (Haha... me wanting to work...)

Tomorrow I don't have to work because I'm going to Simmons for a tour in the morning, then I have therapy at 2, and then I'm free for the day. A pretty nice Friday afternoon if you ask me.

I found out today that Jeff's taking Jenna to the prom. Good for him, good for the both of them, the blonde cheerleader and the punkass pothead. I kind of set them up anyways. The only thing that I'm kind of upset about is that he seems to bounce from female friend to female friend really quickly- Katie, Amita, me, Jenna... I hope he doesn't totally ditch me because he's got this big thing for her. Whatever, I'll be getting the hell out of this place in 29 days anyway.

Catcher in the Rye has consumed most of my free time the last couple of days because I've been too sore-throated and streppy to engage in any of my usual activities. It's a good book; sometimes I feel sort of like Holden Caulfield... a maverick, a thinker, an intelligent underachiever. But then I look at his life and I realize that if I let myself get to that point then there won't be very much left for me.

Alright, I'm going to get back to attempting to type up something for Stats class.

Note... the stupid crush I mentioned earlier isn't going away. Goddammit, I'm really in for it.

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Friday, March 21st, 2003
8:46 am - War.... what is it good for? Absolutely nothing.
So today I woke up to the sound of thunder, but I didn't know it was thunder for about thirty seconds until I came to. (I'd gone to sleep pretty damn tired and early as well.) It was dark and cold in my bed, and for a brief moment I'd thought we were getting bombed. And then I remembered, this is America and not Iraq.

I rolled over and looked out the window and all I had to fear were torrential rains. I didn't have to worry about getting shot by a camouflaged stranger when I left my home, nor did I dread going to the city for fear of the spreading of biological warfare. All I had to worry about was what to wear now that it wouldn't be sunny and dry enough to wear my Birkenstocks to school today.

God, what a sheltered and protected life I live. How selfish we are and how much do we take for granted.

Right now I'm wrestling with my beliefs. But no matter what they are, I pray that the God that many Iraqis believe in will save them from what America is doing to them.

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Thursday, March 20th, 2003
6:55 am - Damn survey
Spell your first name backwards: Acissej
The story behind your lj user name: I wanted "felicity" because it means "happiness," but it was taken so I did "felicitous," which is an adjective for "happy." Kind of ironic, eh?
Where do you live?: Reading, MA
Describe yourself in four words: witty, charismatic, intelligent, adventurous

wallet: Kenneth Cole leather-ish
coffee cup: purple ceramic made by Aya's mommy
underwear: bright green thong
boots: knee-length black leather
CD in stereo right now: Coldplay: A Rush of Blood to the Head
tattoos: a small star on my hip
hair: long, wavy, brown with highlights

Who or What (was/is/are)...
in my mouth: a Life-Saver
in my head: dizziness and tiredness
wishing: that this war would not occur
after this: AP French, third period
talking to: Francine
eating: nothing
what's next to you: my book, a bottle of water
something you're looking forward to in the upcoming months: senior prom, Massive Con, Ferry Beach, graduation, getting another tattoo, going to college
something that you are deathly afraid of: heights
do you like candles?: yes
do you like hot wax?: yes
do you like incense?: yes
do you believe in love?: yes
do you believe in soul mates: yes
do you believe in love at first sight?: not sure
do you believe in heaven?: no, but i believe in an afterlife
do you believe in forgiveness?: yes
do you believe in god?: no, but i believe in a higher power
what do you want done with your body when you die?: cremated and spread over a special place
who is your worst enemy?: i don't waste my time with enemies
if you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be?: a puppy
what are five cities you wouldn't mind relocating to: concord, boston, london, san francisco, savannah,ga.
what are some of your favorite pig out foods?: sour watermelon slices, eggplant parm subs from D'Agostino's
what's something that you wish people would understand?: that not all people have to be the same, that war doesn't solve a thing, and that we are all brothers and sisters under the same sky.
what's something you wish you could understand better?: myself
who's someone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time?: jofis and max

~* Facts *~
[ name ]: Jessica Meredith Lacey
[ nicknames ]: Jess, Jessifer, Jesse (but DO NOT call me that)
[ born in ]: Melrose
[ resides in ]: Reading
[ good student ]: yes
[ eyes ]: green
[ hair ]: brown
[ shoe size ]: 6.5

~* Last time you... *~
[ had a nightmare ]: when i was getting off my Paxil
[ said "i love you" and meant it ]: last night
[ ate at mcdonald's ]: sunday.. i got fries before youth group
[ dyed your hair ]: 2 months
[ brushed your hair ]: this morning
[ Washed your hair ]: yesterday morning
[ checked your e-mail ]: five minutes ago
[ cried ]: last night
[ called someone ]: last night
[ smiled ]: this morning
[ laughed ]: at jeff
[ talked to an ex ]: hrmmm... weeks?

~* Do you... *~
[ smoke? ]: socially
[ do drugs? ]: socially
[ have sex? ]: yes
[ sleep with stuffed animals? ]: there's a couple on the end of my bed but they usually fall off as I toss and turn
[ have a dream that keeps coming back? ]: no, but i've had recurring themes (like all my hair being chopped off)
[ play an instrument? ]: flute, piccolo, guitar and alto sax
[ believe there is life on other planets? ]: not sure
[ remember your first love? ]: yes
[ still love him/her? ]: in some ways
[ read the newspaper? ]: every day
[ have any straight friends? ]: yes
[ consider love a mistake? ]: none of mine have been
[ like the taste of alcohol? ]: not at all
[ go to church? ]: yes, sometimes
[ have any secrets? ]: many
[ have any pets? ]: no, but i want a puppy, a Pomeranian.
[ talk to strangers who instant message you?]:not usually
[ wear hats? ]: on occasion
[ have any piercings? ]: yes... :)
[ have any tattoos? ]: a tiny star on my hip
[ hate yourself? ]: sometimes
[ have an obsession? ]: yes, washing my hands
[ have a secret crush? ]: yeah.
[ collect anything? ]: shot glasses and fortune cookie fortunes
[ have a best friend? ]: several
[ like your handwriting? ]: yeah, it toes the line between messy and artsy
[ have any bad habits? ]: biting my nails
[ care about your looks? ]: yes, but not to a fault
[ boy/girlfriend's looks? ]: a little bit... but he's always handsome to me no matter what
[ friends and other people? ]: not necessarily
[ believe in witches? ]: Duh, they exist. And they prefer to be called Wiccans.
[ believe in satan? ]: no
[ believe in ghosts? ]: no

~* Current... *~
[ dress ]: jeans, "seniors" baseball tee, and sneakers
[ mood ]: tired and nauseous
[ music ]: suspension of graces (yeah reno!)
[ taste ]: sprite
[ hair ]: ponytail
[ annoyance ]: everything
[ smell ]: this nasty classroom
[ thought ]: i can't wait for lunch which is in three minutes
[ book ]: Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
[ fingernail color ]: uhh...regular?
[Refreshment ]: water
[ worry ]: everything
[ crush ]: goldberg
[ Favorite Celebrity ]: kevin spacey

~* Last person... *~
[ you touched ]: schamp
[ you talked to ]: kristin
[ you hugged ]: lex
[ you Instant messaged ]: tory
[ you yelled at ]: amita
[ who broke your heart ]: megan
[ kissed ]: sam

~* Who do you want to... *~
[ kill ]: no one
[ slap ]: president george w. bush
[ tickle ]: lex cause he laughs like a girl
[ talk to ]: jeff
[ have sex with ]: sam
[ kiss ]: sam
i love you, baby! *muah*

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